This last weekend we went to the Big Island, and remember when I told you about how I'm a sissy when it comes to kane spiders and cockroaches? Well that was just between me and the 5 people that actually follow my blog. I'm not even sure how the conversation even started but Robin outted me when she decided to tell Tanner and Haily about my squeeling like a little school girl whenever I see a bug... and she didn't even stop there!



She continued on to tell them how I'v taken my bug phobia to a whole other level by never letting anything of mine touch the ground. K so its out. I admitt it! My dresser is piled high with abnormally large mounds of stuff ranging from textbooks and notebooks, close, shoes (yes, even shoes), makeup bag, shower bag, purse, backpack, computer and everything in between. Alright so there you have it. Secret is out, I'm a wuss. But in my defense? If I actually had to protect myself or anyone else... I could do it.

So apparently this weekend knowing I'm a poor college student wasn't enough... apparently I had to visually prove it too. Our transportation this weekend? A U-HAUL truck!



In the 2 seated cab we stuffed 4, and crammed the other 7 people in the back truck. I know you're probably worried that given the circumstance, we'd be overheated in the back with little oxygen.



Well the boys were pretty creative and messed with the slide down door so that the top two slides were hanging down, giving us air flow. Half the time I felt like I was being smuggled across the boarder and the other half of the time I felt like I had been a bad kid and was an embarrassment that had to be locked away. Both of which werent exactly ego boosters! We created quite the stir whenever we were gettig in and out, and on the road too whenever someone decided to stand up and peak out!

After hiking to the green sand beach we went cliff jumping again... Now I knew I had to go to the bathroom before I even jumped... but after the impact if the jump- the feeling that I had to go to the bathroom quadrupled!!



And lets just say I couldn't do what I had to do in the ocean. The ocean would have no longer been the piercing blue that it was. I had to hurry and scramble up the ladder where there was luckily (I never thought I'd say this..) a porti-potty. Anyways, enough about that... the jump was completely worth it. The water was absolutely beautiful (like everything else in Hawaii!)



Seriously though? Kona was so great! The people were fun and super nice, I felt really comfortable there the whole experience there was just great. Although I think Laie is prettier with all the mountains, the people I was with, the house I was in, and the things we did just made the whole trip amazing!!

Kava & Cliffs

Monday I went cliff jumping again... ahhh what a RUSH! It was so fun! We went to Waimea Bay and jumped off the rock there. We've been wanting to do it for awhile now but it always seems to be closed... what sissy's. This time it was fiiiinally open. It was a PERFECT day! Sunny in the mid 70's, zero wind, zero rain, hardly any clouds... just warmth! Mmmm can you imagine it? It was the heaven that everyone talks about hawaii being :)
The rock starts on the beach so you can climb up on it without even getting wet! I made the climb up, hopping from rock to rock. I got to the top where it was a 35ft jump. I thought... I'M suppose to jump from this!?! This rock? I'm suppose to jump off a stable 35ft rock, plunge into the ocean about 20ft from shore, have faith in my swimming abilities (which lets face it, I don't.) and survive?! Huh. You want to know the only thing that got me to do it (other than my thrill for adventure) the realization that it wasn't nearly as bad as when I jumped off Laie Point... at least this jump I have an idea of what to expect and there were other people doing it right next to me! Laie seemed like a suicide jump... and I have to admit I'm lucky to have came out of that in one peice and without needing therapy! Oh and my pride... I wasn't about to look like a wuss.
I got to the edge of a rock with my toes curled around the edge. I had a million thoughts running through my head and adrenaline running through my body... I was beginning to consider if it was really worth it. Welp, before I knew what was going on, my friend Derek next to me started counting down and he yelled jump before I could process any of my rational thoughts. Next thing I know I'm falling IN THE AIR, plummeting to the sea green ocean below. It was the most exhilirating thing I've done in a long time!! I hit the water and bobbed back up to the surface. Awww it was refreshing :) We tried to get pictures and even a video on the next couple of jumps.. but apparently nature had another plan because the motion sensors on the camera and other gadgets went wrong and well, I have no pictures from it!
Ok so Tuesday night Derek, Dezmond and Eric were all having a "jam session" with their uks and quitars. They've talked about doing another session for awhile now and I really wanted to be at the next one! The music is so relaxing and they all have such GOOD voices! There was a big bucket in the middle of the room... it looked like one of those buckets that costco sells their detergent in. Eric was mixing it up and pouring it in plastic cups with a ladel... it was dark brown and looked gross. If you haven't figured out what it is I'll tell ya. They (not Dez, thank goodness. What a good guy.) were drinking Kava. It's made from the root of a plant here on the island that is suppose to "relax" you. It's a culture thing and you are only suppose to drink it during special ceremonies. The youth abuse it though and drink it all the time. The church leaders here came out with a statement saying that we are not suppose to drink it, whether its a culture thing or not. It's not good for the body and anyways, they advize not to drink it..'nuff said for me! I've never even though twice about drinking it... it looks gross and I've heard it takes just like it looks. Last night I was offered some. Initial reaction was to "just try it", I've been doing a lot of "firsts" since I've been here (nothing bad), and it was just a natural reaction to try this too. BUT THEN I realized what I was being offered! My next thought? Why the heck would I drink that... we're told not to... AND I'm going to the temple on Friday! Am I some kind of idiot!? I quickly said no and refused their offers for the rest of the night.
I leave for Kona tomorrow at 5am! I'm excited :) I'm sure I'll have lots to catch you up on!

Smelly Man

You know that famous song on Friends that pheobe sings about the smelly cat? If you've forgot, let me jog your memory, it goes like this: "Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault..." Anyways, thats just a little taste of it. K well this last weekend I experienced something on the bus (go figure) that instantly made me think of that song... only 'cat' was replaced with 'man'. I've never really had strong smellers... for whatever reason I was not blessed with a good sense of smell. That is until last Thursday came along! Now i'm not making fun of this guy... actually instead I'm quite impressed! This guy HAD to have gone months without showering... he didn't look bad, but boy did he smell bad! Lets just say I was sniffing robins hair for more than half of the bus ride. AND to make matters worse.. he was upwind from us. Brutal. I wish my smellers would go back to being weak, life was much more enjoyable!

One good thing that came out of that patience-testing and gag control bus ride? A stop at Pearl Harbor! Me and Robs went there for a few hours and it was actually really fun! Ok it wasn't really "ha-ha" fun, but rather an "interesting" fun. Reading about all the different weapons and actually seeing them up close. Holy crap I would never want to get in a fight with America... I'm glad I'm on the "strong side" ("strong side! left side!" name that movie.) Anyways it was pretty cool to go there and walk around. I felt like a little kid playing with the big peoples toys for a bit! So much history to take in... and I'm convinced I did not learn a dang thing in high school about this! I know I would have remembered, this stuff was cool!

This weekend was also culture night, it was actually really cool! If theres one thing I could do over at the beginning of the semester, I would have joined more clubs and been more involved. The dances were all so rowdy! The only thing is is that you need to arrive an hour early to get a decent seat! I swear someone was playing a joke on me... I was searching the crowd for Ashton and the punked crew... they weren't around. Culture night is a pretty big deal here, thats not a lie! Question though... Am I missing something or is being an american like the most boring ethnicity ever? We don't have any cool chest-slapping-grunting-feet-pounding dances! Instead we have what, ballroom and swing? Or did we even make those up? I'm not sure... all i know is that I think we kind of get jipped with the cool culture dances. I think I'll make one up and you guys can help me spread the word.

This weekend we also did another hike up to Moana Falls. Me and Whit had a lot of fun taking goofy pictures! It was a hoot.











Todayyy was mighty enjoyable TOO! I'll have to write about that another time.. its 1:10 am and surprise, I'm TIRED! Who woulda thought. Good night!

...a little personal.

Last Week: One moments thought process.
Despair, loneliness, longing, smothered, frustrated, anxious, confused, pathetic, lazy, eager, unsure.
I miss a love and it makes me feel lonely. I have options, it makes me feel smothered. I want to discover the right choice, I feel frustrated. I'm anxious to choose that path, I feel confused as to what that path is. I have the desire to find out, I feel pathetically lazy. I'm eager to know, I feel unsure.

This Weekend: Why do people get cranky and irritable? And why isn't there a pill to correct this feeling when you get it? If there is, why hasn't anyone told me about this and where can I get some?? Now I know that probably sounds like signs of depression or maybe even a pill popper, but k I'm not. It's just that I'm convinced that people go out of their way to irritate you! But then again, I was told once that we are in control of our emotions. So does that mean I'm allowing myself to be irritated? I'm not sure if I believe that. Being irritable is probably near the top on my list as far as the worst experienced attitudes. And if it's really one of the worst attitudes I've ever experienced, would I really ALLOW myself to feel like that?

I was in an "argument" with someone last night. The whole time he was telling me I had an "attitude" and to calm down. I was surprised!! I thought I was calm, instead of getting mad back I was subtly laughing at the situation and how dumb it was that we were even having this argument. It was pointless and was based off of faulty information... so whyyyy were we arguing you ask? Not sure. I think some people like to fight... I'm not one of those people. Instead of fighting I'll give a quiet laugh and realize how pathetic the two parties involved are and then move on! Is this an example of controlling my emotions? If I can control my anger in an argument... why can't I control my irritableness? Ok I don't even know if thats a word but its my blog and so I'm using it. Speaking of made up words... "humblizes" should TOTALLY be a word. I made a fooool of myself when I said it in Relief Society once. People make up crap all the time, why can't I make up a few words? Sometimes it's what makes peoples worlds go round.

I can't find the right words to write directly about this... The other night I experienced something that I haven't felt in a long time. Prior to actually falling asleep though, I was wrapped in the most secure grasp of sincere comfort. I was laying there, at times with an awkward silence, but for the first time ever I realized the truthfulness of something I learned in a past class at byui. I was taught that it has been proven that if a baby is not held or shown any effection to for a month that it will die. This made sense to me at the time, I don't remember the details or anything like that, but the idea of it was understandable. I believed it without giving much thought to it. Although I'm not in the same circumstance as that, I believe I've caught a glimpse. I've always believed myself to be independant. Although I've always happened to have boyfriends, I still remained confident that I didn't NEED them and that I was my own person. I still believe that, but I also believe that you need an arm around you every now and then to just hold you. Not to protect you, not to give you security, not for warmth, but just out of the sake of having an arm around you and hold you close. No feelings were involved, but for those moments I felt a greater peace than I had in a long time.

Today: Tired, anxious, relaxed, wondering, comforted, answered.
Tired because I got 3 hours of sleep... The night was beautiful in preperation for the tomorrow.
Although I was tired I felt anxious to explore my options and make some decisions. However, not only was I anxious, I was also relaxed. Relaxed because I was so tired. Instead of being so tired that I wasn't able to feel the spirit, I was so tired that I could do nothing else but let my heart do the talking and listening.
My mind was once full of wonder, wondering what that path I should take, frustrated in the absense of an answer. Now, instead of being full of energy and thoughts running through my head... the pages were blank. I've poured them out, I was now looking for the answers. Although I do not have pages of answers recieved... I believe I have the one that matters for the tomorrow's.

Famous for a night

Friday- you'd think we had a death wish.
I got out of class at noon and already I had plans. There were a couple of my friends that wanted to jump off Laie Point. I had heard about this and knew some people that had done it, but it never really looked that safe to me. It was a nice day out and I certainly wanted to be in the sun, so I decided I'd go with them to "check it out". We got there and the waves were HUGE! Bigger than I had ever seen them before! Absolutely enormous. So we went to the other side of the point, it was a little calmer but was still a little questionable. The way to get back out was even more questionable!! You had to swim and get in the current to where it would push you on top of this reef. Once you got on that you had to quickly stand up and get to higher ground before the next wave came and washed you back out again. Well, before I knew what was exactly going on, before I had even made a decision of whether I was doing it or not, the boys jumped in. Keep in mind; this was maybe a 30 ft cliff!! After some standing and arguing with myself, I take off my shoes and go for it. I JUMPED! It was one of those jumps where its so high that you literally have time to think about what you're doing during the fall! So here I am falling, flapping my arms like a penguin as if I was trying to take flight. Didn't work. I hit the salty water and quickly bobbed back to the surface. We swam around for a bit, the current taking you away from shore but then quickly swimming back in. I noticed my friends were starting to climb back out so I go too (I wasn't about to be left in the water by myself!). Now, remember how this was the complicated part? Yeah. So I swim over there realizing at some point I also need to take off my snorkeling gear (we had it thrown down for us) in the mix of trying to get out. So here I am, multitasking... trying to get my snorkel stuff off, timing the wave, watching for corral, and freaking out. I gracefully ripped off my snorkel stuff and headed towards the reef area, stood up and held on for dear life while the water was rushing back out. Me and Gina (the other girl I was with) quickly got up and got to where we thought was higher ground. We were wrong. The wave came and Gina struggled to hold on. Another wave came and this one successfully made her fall, she lost all of her stuff, she's sliding all over the reef from this unexpected monstrous wave. Meanwhile I'm trying to hurriedly get out of the way so the boys can go back and help her. I climb up, Gina somehow makes it and we all climb back up to the top of the point. Fewww!
After that we headed over to Pounders beach. The boys had been out there for awhile and us girls sat on the beach soaking up the sun and enjoying ourselves and the few. We decided we wanted to go out and get a little wet, nothing too serious, just enough to cool down. Well I got what I was asking for! We go out and the waves weren't too bad. They started getting bigger and so we started diving under them to avoid getting thrown around. The waves kept getting bigger and BIGGER next thing I know I'm not able to get low enough out of harms way. The waves are DESTROYING ME AND MY SWIMSUIT! Thats right, you read right, my swimsuit! Every now and then I bob to the surface to get a quick breath before the next giant wave comes and knocks me around! My swimsuit is trying to stay on... NOT WORKING! Fiiiinally I was able to get my footing and situate myself and run out of the water... only after making a complete fool of myself in the water. What an amateur!

One party, 3 different houses.
Earlier in the week my roommates decided we wanted to throw a "St. Patricks Day" party. We saved cans, bottles, and everything else you can imagine to recycle and with this money (a whole $10) to buy decorations and food! Well you can imagine how much we were able to buy with that... maybe 2 bags of chips? So we dug in our pockets and hit up the dollar store and found some really great deals! Oh and did I mention in order to get in the door you had to bring a "dish"? Ok well we weren't really strict with that rule, but we did ask people to bring stuff... hey it can be expensive to throw a party! We asked our landlord earlier in the week if it would be ok and she said sure and that it shouldn't be a problem. Great! Done deal!
The same night that our party was planned was our bball teams first game in regionals, so OF COURSE I had to go to that!! They're undefeated and I wasn't about to miss a game now! And boooy am I glad I didn't! It was an AWESOME game... they played the #8 team and it was a surprisingly close game. So after the game me, Robin, Whit and some other friends headed over to the Hale to a Latin Party before we headed to ours. GOOD DECISION! They had authentic tacos and they were UH-MAZING! We then headed back to my place where the party was already started. It wasn't real loud and there wasn't a ton of people there, a good size. However, within 45 mins we received negative feedback from the landlord.. and again 5 mins after that! A few choice words were said and they party got shut down. But yeeeeah RIGHT we're we going to end the party there. So we did the only other logical thing.. moved it to another house! GENIUS. So we went to another house and it was soo so nice, it lacked the decorations but the music was good and the people were fun. I officially learned how to latin dance! However, after an hour of being there we once again got a negative reaction from their landlord and she came down and gave us a good lecturing. And so we again moved locations to another place. By this time people were getting tired of all the drama and lameness so we called it good and me and my friends bailed and went to have a bonfire on the beach (the night was still young! Well, kinda.) It was a lot of fun! Dez brought his Uk and we all sat around talking and singing what few lines we knew. We called it a night at 2:30 and headed back to our own places.
Saturday we all slept in... longer than desired... just enough to feel like you slept away half the day :( however, i was still determined to make the most out of the Saturday! So we made a few calls and me and whit went up with some friends to Waimea beach and even grabbed some Acai Bowls on the way back. Have I told you about Acai bowls!? They are to die for! Acai berries, granola, honey, and bananas-- doesn't get much better than that!
We then headed back to Laie to get ready for the second bball game of the weekend... we got all dolled up and headed out the door! The game was packed (ok, not really... it had about 2,500 people- a good turn out for Hawaii!) I was even able to get on the tv once or twice, it was fun! Mom was calling me every couple of minutes to make sure it was really me she was seeing- "Yes Mom, it's your famous daughter, Kimaree! I know I know, it's exciting Mom! I HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE GAME!"
Afterward that we headed up to Turtle bay to do some hot tubbing and relaxing.. as if I hadn't gotten any earlier in the day, right? Welp.. when in Hawaii!

Tears & Laughter

I was with a certain group, I was having a roller coaster day with moments of tears and moments of laughter... they were combined. It was good though because I was surprisingly up beat the whole time, laughing at the things that would normally tear me down. It was a genuine and sincere laugh, nothing forced. It was a laugh where your whole body is convulsing, eyes watering, and abs aching. It was a laugh where I couldn't control my body movements, including my flailing arms.
I had dreamt of days like that for awhile. The day wasn't all perfect though, I still had the occasional trial of overcoming the ungrateful attitude, but I was doing well. I was put even more to the test later, I wasn’t so strong this time with this other group.
I collapsed to the biting tongue, the piercing silences, the awkward looks, tension-filled presence. I broke down, strength and ignoring was no longer enough. My heavy heart with this black tar was too much. I realized I would never be able to warm the cold shoulders. Finally, I was about to conquer the fear of confrontation. I approached and defeated. With correctional words and novels of body expressions, I said what I thought, finally.
Although there still aren’t smiles, laughter, and cherished memories being made within these walls… I had surmounted and became victorious at something I’ve dreaded for the last 20 years. I’ve never been one to approach a problem, I’d rather ignore it. I’ve never confronted a hurtful person, I’d brushed it off. I’ve never corrected a satanic grump, I would rather remove myself. I’ve never said what’s really on my mind when in the presence of an acquaintance. I’ve done it. Although they remain acquaintances to me, they’ve become the people that helped me overcome myself by overcoming them.
I begin dreaming once more

Real Life Jumanji

Ok so a couple of days ago I started writing a blog, I got about half way done when I had to go do something. When I came back my screen was blank... the blog had disappeared, no where to be found. And so I've been a little slow on starting it all over.

So remember how I was completely mortified at finding a cockroach in my house? Well you probably thought I haven't seen one since then since I haven't mentioned one in awhile, right? WRONG! I've seen them, I just choose to not acknowledge their existence. If I'm in my room and the lights are off in the rest of my house I'll swing my arm (from inside my room) around the corner turn on the light and let the little buggers go back to their hiding place (of which I don't know where that is, and that's how I like it!) before I come out. I feel this gives them a fair warning to retreat. If by chance I sneak up on one on accident in the cupboard or something, I'll quickly shut the cupboard and let them move out of sight before opening it again. Surprise, I still haven't broughten myself to killing one! Although that might be because I'm a sissy... I like to think I just have too big of a heart :)

Now, I don't want to lead you on and think things are all fine and dandy with the roaches... they aren't. The other day one got way to close for comfort and I might need some therapy when I get back to the mainland. I went to a service project Saturday morning (after going to Hukilau Cafe and ordering 1 banana pancake and 1 macadamia nut pancake... MMMM delish.) Anyways, the floods that happened back in the end of November did a lot of damage to homes around the island and so we were sent to gut this families house so they could tear it down and rebuild. Within 5 ft of the house you could smell the mold oozing from the broken windows, holes in the walls and floors. There were vines growing through the holes in the ground, VINES! I thought I had somehow gotton sucked into Jumanji! This thought/feeling was confirmed when I saw the biggest, most disgusting spider EVER. It was the size of my palm (literally), it had eyes that said I want to eat you, legs as big as a monsters, and a body that spelt distruction... and it jumps too! It's called a Kane spider... now I hear they aren't dangerous but I don't really care, they're big, nasty, intimidating, and I don't like them. So back to the roaches... they were everywhere. Short ones, fat ones, long ones, juicy ones (ok so I'm trying to remember that song "I guess I'll go eat worms.. it's not working) So I was holding open this garbage bag trying to stuff 2 inch thick vines into it when I felt something crawling on my arm. With hesitation and fear in my eyes I look over.... THERE WAS A ROACH ON MY ARM. ON MY ARM CRAWLING UP TOWARDS MY HEAD. WROOONG DIRECTION BUDDY AND WRONG ARM.. I freak, the girl next to me freaks, I let out a squeel and flick it off. I shudder and kept the work going (being on alert at all times of course). See? Now you understand why I might need therapy?

Now I can't say I didn't get anything out of this service project. The group I worked with was actually really fun, and the family was super nice! They made food for EVERYONE (20+) and people that were at another service project too... it was kind of a big school thing. There was so much food, whoever said college students starve in Hawaii was lying! She had scrambled eggs, orange chicken that was to die for, fresh fruit, pancakes, banana bread, steamed vegetables, a breakfast pasta dish just to name a few!!

Mmm my mouth is watering... I'm going to eat lunch.
Aloha!

Thrill seekers? Naaaugh. Just fun seekers :)

Without fail, another FUN weekend!

Ok so last fall semester while up at BYU-Idaho there was a devotional given about how we shouldnt' be thrill seekers. I'm thinking, "duh, thats reasonable. But I don't have to worry about that, I would never do something dumb just for the thrill" Well, I need to step off my high horse and make my lil' brown eyes look around! Although I wouldn't call my group of friends thrill seekers, we just like to have fun! However, the type of fun we end up having usually is "thrillful"!

We hiked up this mountain with a lighthouse. Sounds pretty normal/fun/typical-touristy thing right? Well, one might ask where the adventurous twist to it is? We decided to boycott the paved path and hike up the super-rocky-super-jagged-edge-no-path-do-it-your-own-way-you-better-have-faith, way. Oh and I can't forgot the wind that had the speed of a tornado, enough to make one tumble while on the side of a cliff wind. It was exciting! No thrill-seeking involved what-so-ever. Oh and supposably from this particular outlook you are able to see whales during the months of December-March... we didn't have any luck though.

So not only was the top of this mountain super windy, but it's been pretty windy everywhere and ALL THE TIME. Between here and Idaho I can't seem to escape the wind, I think it might have some sort of an attraction to me. So anyways, this last Friday a bunch of friends and I went and camped on the beach so we got a good dose of wind all throughout the night. We didn't have our tent poles tied down either so the wind kept making the walls collapse. Instead of the tent sleeping 6, there was only enough room for 4. Which I'll admit, I was kind of happy! It made us girls get closer than usual... and it was a very chilly night!

The next morning we ventured over to the west coast to go snorkeling at Electrical Bay. I'm not really sure what the story is about this place but there are these huge tubes that go from some type of chemical plant out a couple hundred yards into the water and it just pumps warm water out. Well during these couple of months you are able to supposably see tons of dolphins out in the water... but I don't know who the jokester is, but we did't have any luck here either! Buttt I can't say that I came away too heartbroken. The snorkeling here was ama-ZING! I saw so so so so many colorful fish, big ones too!! And once they finally taught me how to dive down into the water without sucking in water at all (I tend to find this difficult for some reason), I was able to swim down to where the pipes blow the water and it 'shoots' you out a couple yards and floats you to the top in all this warm water!! It was so cool!

After snorkeling we drove to turtle bay to sneak in and get some good use of the jacuzzi on the beach!

So... you know how at the beginning of my blogging I was a little torn about being here? And I wasn't sure if I really liked it all that much? Well I think I lied! I absolutely am in love with it here! And shocker, I've actually been considering staying here another semester. But after prayer and logical thinking, my major calls me back in Idaho. It's been a really fun semester and a great experience (I'm so glad I have another month!), but I definitely don't want to change my major (I'd have to if I stayed here) and I don't want to stall anymore. Plus, if I keep going like I have been and really take advantage of my time here, I think I'll be ok with going back.

We had Stake Conference this last Sunday and Elder Christofferson came and spoke to us, it was so incredible! I love seeing those men in person, it just reassures the reality of this gospel and the blessing it is to have it in my life. He was an amazing speaker and brought a light with him that was undeniable. And gosh, he's FUNNY! He kept us chuckeling the whole time. At the close of that nights Fireside and which he spoke there too, we sang the Farewell song Aloha oe (or something like that, I don't exactly remember the name). It was a sad moment to say good-bye. I think that's when I started thinking about how nice it would be to stay!! I don't want to say good-bye yet. Good thing I don't have to yet!!